Skip to main content

D1 Happy Birthday To Me

Good evening! Today was my 29th birthday and it was even better than I expected it would be. I woke up feeling that today was going to be a good day, but I didn't know just HOW good it would be.

Work was wonderful, I had a regular client who I love working with and then I got to offer one of my favorite body treatments which is so fun! I've only done a few of them but today I felt like I really rocked it :)

I am working extra tomorrow and because of that my boss sent me home early today to enjoy my afternoon and celebrate my bday! She's the best <3 Because of that I was able to go to my favorite beach; I haven't been there yet this year and it's a magical beautiful place. It was so great to go and listen to the waves. Plus I got so many extra steps, heck yes! Love earning those Activity Points ;-) 

After the beach we went to my parents for birthday dinner and I thankfully did really well. I can't lie, I was nervous. I'm always nervous that I'm going to go off the deep end when I go to my parents because it's the house I grew up in, the house I developed all my bad habits in and when I walk through the door it's like stepping into a time machine. Suddenly I'm looking in the fridge to see what they've got hiding in there or worst yet--the microwave!! My mom keeps all the good junk in the microwave. Cookies and pastries can always be found in the microwave and they call to me...and of course I can't just look in the microwave to ease the curiosity because once I've looked I'm suddenly starving. But only a cookie can crush that insatiable hunger. And once I've had 1 cookie I might as well have another...

I have a problem with food. Obviously.

Since it was my birthday I was able to request my favorite dinner and desert and I wanted something I don't have often, something delicious but also something that wouldn't make me feel like crap physically and emotionally. Traditionally bday dinners in my family are spaghetti and meatballs with bread (of course!) and cake with's not that I don't LOVE my moms spaghetti but I love it TOO much and I can never seem to have just one serving. Usually at bday parties I eat until I'm uncomfortable and then feel awful physically but worse emotionally. Eating to the point of discomfort makes me feel like a failure and I start feeding (pun intended!) that inner voice by feeding my face. All the "well, you screwed up so you might as well eat ______" thoughts start flooding my brain. It's a downward spiral and it goes from bad to worse in a flash. 

I didn't want to celebrate my birthday with a binge and a food hangover this year. This is going to be a GOOD YEAR for me!! Especially weight loss wise! So I asked my mom if we could do fish instead. We live in Massachusetts, we have GREAT seafood and my mom makes delicious baked scrod (a white fish) that I don't get often. So I requested fish, sweet potato and broccoli and for desert I asked for an angel food cake with fat free cool whip and fresh strawberries. My mom was more than happy to oblige and made a delicious, Power Food packed, points friendly feast for me. I put the scale next to me on the table and weighed my dinner and desert and though my heart said "MORE! I want MORE it's SO TASTY!" my head said "NO!" It was challenging but I listened to my head. The worst part was staring at the leftover piece of angel food cake. 

It just sat there. Taunting me. I swear I could hear it!!

"Eat me.

Eeeeaaattt mmmeeee!! me.


I'm so delicious. Eat me!!!!

Don't let me go to waste! It's your birthday!"

I didn't. It was hard. I stared it down, it screamed silently at me. I walked away. 

I'd love to tell you leaving that hunk of angel food cake on the cake platter staring at me felt great. I'd love to tell you that I felt empowered like a total Weight Watchers rock star but I didn't. I felt angry to be totally honest. I was mad that I wanted it; I wished I was strong enough to have my serving and feel satisfied! Walking away from that piece, not eating it was hard and it wasn't satisfying in the moment but now that I'm home and I've had my tea and I'm reflecting on my day I feel proud of the decisions I made today and I am so incredibly happy that I made the decision to walk away from that left over piece of cake...maybe the satisfaction of walking away from food won't be so delayed in the future if I keep practicing. I fully intend to keep practicing!

Today was a beautiful day and I felt very special. All the love on Facebook, the texts and the calls made me feel like a princess but the best part of the day was sticking to the plan I had made for myself even though it didn't give me immediate satisfaction. 

The satisfaction I feel now was worth the wait. 



Popular posts from this blog

I Fell In Love Today

I fell in love today. It was the craziest feeling and one of the most amazing moments in my 29 years of life. I will never forget the day I stood in the Target dressing room looking at her. Admiring her. Seeing her strength and beauty despite her flaws...maybe even because of them. She was stunning. Absolutely radiant and proud. She was beautiful outside but not because she had a toned stomach, tanned flawless skin and a thigh gap; she was a different kind of beautiful. She was genuinely beautiful. I stood there staring at her and admiring her and I felt myself smiling; caught off guard by how I was feeling! Almost a little ashamed that she caught my admiring eye. But she didn't reject my admiration; instead she smiled back at me and before I knew it I was crying.

Time was suspended as I stood there weeping softly, hot tears rolling down my cheeks but I didn't feel embarrassed in her presence. I was overcome with emotion but shame was not one. With her standing there I I felt s…

Falling In Love Again

At Weight Watchers this week we were talking about being kind to yourself. I was asked when it was I decided to stop beating beating myself up and I started to cry the moment I said “it all started with a bikini”.
You can read that story here if you want to be caught up. 
I instantly felt my face flush as I realized I wasn’t going to be able to keep talking without tears rolling down my cheeks and I paused for a moment to look around the room. Was what I was about to do career suicide? What would my boss think if she walked into the meeting room and witnessed the leader having an emotional breakdown? 
My job as a leader is to facilitate a conversation among members, to create an environment where each and every person who walks through the door feels safe and supported and to ensure that each week members leave feeling like they got a figurative hug with a side of science.
It’s great to be warm and fuzzy and I love that Weight Watchers has moved past the days of a leader lecturing for 45 …

Pound Fitness

Pound Fitness:
"Instead of listening to music, you become the music in this exhilarating full-body workout that combines cardio, conditioning and strength training with yoga and pilates-inspired movements. Using Ripstix, lightly weighted drumsticks engineered specifically for exercising POUND transforms drumming into an incedibly effective way of working out." I have spent an incredible amount of time feeling lonely and excluded. My weight ostracized me. I felt isolated and alone then I joined WW and I found people who understood me; now I work for WW and I have found a family. Because of WW I have a newfound confidence. I am brave enough to try new things and get wayyyy out of my comfort zone cause I know no matter what, I’ve got people who are going to catch me if I fall when I take a leap of faith. 
Pound Fitness is a physical manifestation of what WW is to me. It is connection, literally and figuratively. When I slam my Ripstix against the floor I’m getting low enough in my…