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D2 Feeling Good :)

Today I woke up feeling good! I followed my food plan all day and stayed within my DPT. Today was the first day in a while that I've felt like "I got this". It felt  good to feel confident.

I haven't had a good weigh in 4 weeks in a row and it's really frustrated me and made me feel like a failure but I've taken a long hard look at what is going on and I've been able to pinpoint the ways I'm hurting my progress.

1. BLT's-Those pesky bites, licks and tastes really do add up! A pretzel here, a little bite of peanut butter there...those extra's that "don't count" DO count. Just like a single drop of water isn't going to damage a stone but several drops of water falling one by one will erode that stone over time, a fraction of a point isn't going to affect me but several fractions of a point will cause some serious damage. I've been paying a lot more attention to my BLT's this week and reminding myself that a teeny tiny bite might not cost any points but 100 teeny tiny bites throughout the day will. 

2. Too much fruit-Yes, fruit is zero points but I have been eating way too much of it lately. I eat fruit with every meal, I snack on it, it's my desert, I put it in smoothies...I've been binging on fruit and justifying it by saying "it's free!" but really it's not FREE, it's zero points but nothing is free. I've been eating fruit when I'm not even hungry! If I get bored or emotional or anxious I eat fruit...that way I don't have to use points I don't have. The other problem I've been having with fruit is the portions; I don't usually weigh or measure fruit because again, it's zero points! But an entire melon isn't a serving size. I haven't actually eaten an entire melon (yet) just making a point LOL. To conquer this issue I went to the dollar store and bought a third cup of measuring cups. Now I can't use the excuse "I didn't have a measuring cup" ;-)

3. Skipping the scale (or measuring cup)-Sometimes I do this with food other than fruit. Egg white substitutes, jelly, a slice of cheese on my eggs or hamburger, fat free sugar free creamer in my coffee...I eyeball. But eyeballing isn't accurate and it's the same as the BLT's, the extra grams I'm not counting add up and even though it might be less than a point all the extras add up so from now on EVERYTHING I eat will get weighed or measured. 

My portions are seriously out of control which is frustrating because I've been doing this journey so long that I feel like I shouldn't have the desire to eat so excessively. In all honesty I probably COULD precisely measure a serving of ANYTHING without a scale, however, sometimes I lie to myself. I pour myself a serving, I know it's a serving, but I'll keep pouring. I know I'm only hurting myself. I know that even if I don't keep an honest record my body will. If I eat snickers and ice cream and a tub of crisco every day but track salads packed with veggies, lean proteins and fresh fruit will I lose weight? Haha, I wish!! Well, maybe not. A tub of crisco sounds terribly unappealing. 

I've decided to face reality head on, I might not like it but I'm not going to solve anything by saying "it's not fair" or beating myself up about it. It wasn't easy to take a long hard honest look at my behavior and say "this is where you went wrong, Tiffany", it was a heck of a lot easier to pretend I didn't know what was wrong, to act like I was following the program the way I should. "I'm not losing because Weight Watchers is failing me!!" but, it's not. I am...I was...failing me. 

But I've got a plan and it's not easy or fun to look at your own behaviors and dissect them but it's exactly what I'm doing because without that analysis I'm going to stay stuck and I don't want to stay stuck. I've got 30 things to accomplish before I'm 30 and the one that means the most to me is GETTING TO GOAL!! And I will. 

-t


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