At first I was excited and then I was terrified and then I was excited again! I looked around the room...
Where do I start??
After catching my breath and a little coaching I was able to come up with a workout and she walked me through everything but not the way she usually does. Usually she tells me where to go, gives me the weights and gets me situated but today she made me pick my own weights, get situated (adjust incline bench, position the stability ball etc) and count my own reps. I didn't realize how much I depended on her until she took a major step back and I felt like I was on my own!
But it was awesome! I feel like I can go to the gym now on my own and actually work out productively without overworking or feeling like a moron who can't get into and out of the incline bench. Not only was her push toward independence essential for building my confidence but it also made me feel like in the future I really can be a trainer and it made me look forward to pursuing that path.
She said "if you want to be a trainer, I'm going to start teaching you." I'm so incredibly grateful for her. She has no reason to believe in me...I've cancelled on her a million times, gotten really excited and motivated 1 day to fizzle out and hit bottom the next yet she is always there supporting me and encouraging me to reach outside of my comfort zone and achieve goals I deemed unreachable.
I can't start the process of getting my certification yet because it's quite expensive but while I'm saving I'm going to keep my goals in mind. I think that with my personal experience I'd be a pretty good trainer once I have the certification I need. I know what it's like to feel "too fat for the gym". I know what it's like to feel completely overwhelmed by the machines and have no idea where to start. However, I know that it's completely and totally possible if you believe in yourself and maybe have a kick ass trainer who believes in you too.
That's what I want to be! A kick ass trainer who believes in you, pushes you, makes you better, stronger and faster! And hey, I already have my first client lined up. She's going to be my guinea pig so I know what works and what doesn't...
...and she is ME.