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D36 "Why Is it Different This Time?"

So last night was weigh in at Weight Watchers and I was down 2 pounds! Crazy, right!? I definitely didn't expect that...I was thinking it would be quite amazing to be down 2.4 pounds because that would put my at my 100 again but I didn't expect that I'd actually be down 2 pounds!! I was shocked and thrilled and I'm actually not disappointed that I didn't lose an additional .4 because I worked my ass off this week and I lost 3 last week so I expected a little rebound gain despite my hard work this week as that tends to be what happens. However, I tended to reward myself with copious amounts of food on Wednesday's; the more I lost the more I'd eat; that probably had a LOT to do with my "rebound" gain. Since I'm not doing that now, maybe that's why I lost this week?

I'm not sure but I know it wasn't luck.

When I weighed in I said to the receptionist (one of my absolutely FAVORITE people in the whole world!) "yay! So close! This time I'll hit 100 and it's going to be different. I've done it before but this time it feels different." and she said "why, Tiffany? What's different?"

And at first I wanted to tell her about my blog from a few days ago and about how I'm actually eating well, no more extreme binging and then restricting like a crazy person, how I'm writing every single thing down and how I'm working out but I realized it's more than that.

All of those things are true, don't get me wrong and doing those things keeps me feeling good but there's more to it than I feel good and I'm losing weight. I want MORE than weight loss this time around and having something to focus on other than the number is what's helping the number move. Funny how taking my focus off the thing I thought I wanted most is helping me get the thing I thought I wanted most...I want that 100 and I want goal after that but what I want even more than that magic number is to be an athlete!!

I've never been an athlete. When I was a kid I tried soccer, awful. I tried ballet, awful. All dance was awful actually. Karate was fun but...eventually I lost interest. Basketball was fun and I loved playing but after my first knee surgery (age 12) I quit and after that I never tried another sport. I rode horses but at horse camp once a year, took a few private lessons but I like western trail riding not English riding with posting and all that fancy stuff...it's a great workout but I like riding for fun, not sport.

I thought that once I graduated high school I was too old to get into sports. It wasn't like I could join a team or something so what's the point? Then I started running and I liked that with running I could work toward something; I couldn't get bored or "good enough" because I can ALWAYS get better. I can get stronger, run longer and faster and I like the idea of a moving finish line. There's no permanence in running and I can continually compete against myself and other people if I so choose.

And even though I still consider myself a beginner when it comes to running, maybe an intermediate (depending on the day) I'm already thinking I want MORE than running. I have a ton of work I can do to be a stronger and faster runner and I'm definitely far from being anywhere even close to a STRONG runner but I don't want to focus all of my energy on running right now because I know if I do I'll burn myself right out. I'm the kind of person who likes to juggle a couple of different things at a time so I stay interested.

So instead of pouring all of myself into running just so I can end up hating it I'm focusing on something I never in a million years thought I'd ever do or even consider doing...

a triathlon!!!

Yep! I said it, now it's out there, now I've got to follow through and I will!! I'm psyched and I cannot WAIT to tell you more about it and I will, I promise but for now I'll tell you that I have a LOT of work to do! I need to run more, get a bike and learn how to swim. HAHA!! Oh my god!! SO MUCH WORK NEEDS TO BE DONE!! But I can do it!!

So my friends, not only are things different because I'm eating well and tracking everything and I'm not in diet mode...although all of that's true...things are different because I have non-scale-goals that I'm working towards and those goals are what are going to help me reach my number goal and stay there!! Last time I hit 100 I didn't stay there because my goal was "reach 100!" and then I did and then I had nothing to work towards and I immediately stopped dieting and OF COURSE I gained because I wasn't living a manageable lifestyle.

Training for a triathlon, becoming a runner and a swimmer and a biker, eating well and focusing on a goal OFF the scale is my new lifestyle. It's a part of who I am. Some people like jigsaw puzzles, some people like knitting...and some crazy people like me enjoy working out and THAT is my hobby <3

-t

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