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D49 & D50

I skipped yesterday's blog because I'm exhausted but it was a good day. I had a lot of anxiety during the day about my weigh in; I felt bloated and like I had gained though I made great food and exercise choices so couldn't justify a gain but unfortunately I was up when I weighed in :( I'm so close to the illusive 100 but I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and eventually I know I'll have it within my grip...and then some.

I texted my trainer to tell her how anxious I was and let her know I was hanging in despite the anxiety and continuing to make good choices. She asked what I was having for dinner as she knows I struggle with Wednesday night "cheat nights" and I admitted that I was planning on indulging in pizza even though I don't think I should do dairy. She encouraged me to take the power out of Wednesday nights by planning an indulgence meal on another random night instead of on "weigh in night".

At first I was like "ya, ok" but then I realized she was exactly right and even though I had tracked the pizza and made it fit into my points I still felt like I was making a dangerous decision. First-cheese. Second, if I wouldn't eat pizza during the week because of the high points, why should I eat it on Wednesday? My body doesn't say "this is less points because it's Wednesday." To my body fat is fat, grease is grease on Wednesday the same as it is on Friday...

So I deleted the pizza from my tracker and my plans and instead made myself a delicious dinner. Green beans with garlic and canola oil, salmon and a sweet potato. It was SO good! I enjoyed cooking it, I enjoyed eating it and I enjoyed waking up this morning feeling empowered and not guilty for eating something that wasn't really good for me. Sure one piece of pizza wouldn't have killed me but would I have stopped at 1?

Today was good too. I was (and am) really tired and decided to skip the gym this morning in favor of sleep. I really needed it and I worked 10:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. today so I needed the rest to survive the day. I've been working out a lot lately and really being consistent and that's GREAT but resting is also great! I definitely started to feel a little overworked and it caught up with me yesterday so instead of trying to push it I reminded myself that balance is important and working out is great but resting is an essential part of a workout routine. So that's what I did.

Because it was a long day I packed food accordingly and due to my planning I was able to stay within my DPT, get all my GHG's and feel satisfied all day. There was for some reason a TON of candy at work on the backroom table...I didn't touch any of it! <3 So proud.

Work is just incredible. I can't talk about it too much right now because I'm so pooped but I was presented with an opportunity to do some marketing (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, blogging and networking in person with different businesses) and I'm SO excited!! I've been on cloud 9 since I was asked; at first I felt like "omg, me!? why me!? I can't do this!!" but my boss is a powerful, strong, go getter with a keen business sense and she's done AMAZING things with her business so I reminded myself that she knows what she's doing and she approached me about this. If she trusts and believes in me then I should too. It's not like I asked for this, she asked me!! I'm psyched and I feel so honored and blessed.

Everyday I feel a little stronger. Not just weight loss wise, life wise!! My job is getting better and better and my weight loss journey is going pretty great too...I mean the scale doesn't seem to agree but for the first time in forever I feel like I've got a handle on my food choices. The fact that I got anxious about indulging and had to convince myself to have a "bad" meal is proof that I'm REALLY changing. I know there are no "good" or "bad" foods but there are foods that are better for me, foods that will fuel my body and make me feel good and there are foods that taste good but don't do much for me and will most likely make me feel pretty terrible. In the past I could excuse the terrible feelings but yesterday I couldn't justify eating something that was going to make me feel crappy and after I deleted pizza from my tracker and filled in salmon, sweet potato and green beans the anxiety lifted. I thought I was anxious about weigh in and it turns out I was anxious about dinner!!

I texted my trainer today thanking her profusely for her help...today I am just busting at the seams with gratitude. I have an amazing job, an incredible wife, wonderful friends...I'm sooooooo blessed. <3

-t

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