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D56 Feeling Better

Grocery shopping last night definitely helped me mentally. I slept better because there was food in my lie. I had dinner last night, packed my breakfast and lunch, tracked everything, had dinner was AMAZING! Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

I'm still worried about weighing in on Wednesday though because of the fact that last Wednesday I overate and Friday I emotionally ate but the rational side of me is like "you ate 2 points Friday. 2 over your DPT! GET OVER IT!" I'm not very nice to myself sometimes so I'm trying to think about what I would say to a friend if she confided in me that she felt bad about choices she made during the week...and this is what I would say.

You are human and every once in a while you get anxious or upset or just plain hungry and that's OK. Eating a little more than you planned is NORMAL. Obsessing about it isn't. Worst case scenario you gain on Wednesday when you weigh in, what's the big deal? Even if you gain 10 pounds, it's not like it's attached to you forever! You can take it off again! You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to stay at your 100 pound milestone. You're so scared you're going to chase that 100 for another year and a half that you're driving yourself crazy.

You're stronger everyday. Like ridiculously strong. You've made so many positive, wonderful changes and you continue to do so. The scale and that darn number have way too much hold on you, let it go! You are not disappointing anyone if you gain; in fact it's probably inspirational to them. Not the gain, the fact that you DON'T QUIT.

You've been through it all, some REALLY hard times (and I'm not just talking about weight loss!) but you keep going, don't you? Because you're a fighter and fighters don't quit. You're not failing if you gain, you're not a terrible person because you strayed off the course a little bit. I know you felt so strong and so inspired just a few short weeks ago and now you're feeling like you screwed it all up but you haven't screwed anything up. A few weeks ago you were sticking to your DPT, you were working out, you were feeling GREAT but you were also a little rigid and a little strict. Maybe you weren't quite in "diet mode" but you were headed in that direction.

Now you're being a little looser and that's OK too. This whole weight loss journey is about balance. Some weeks you're a force to be reckoned with, some weeks you eat the force and its's about what happens in the end that matters.

Instead of paying attention to what happens on the scale every week, why not focus on what happens once a month?  When you're a lifetime member you'll only have to weigh in once a month, so why not start now? Some weeks you do everything right and the scale goes up. WHAT!? That's the wrong way! Some weeks you think you've done terrible and it goes's a fickle and unreliable measure of your progress. So pay attention to the first weigh in of the month only, don't worry about the weigh in's in between.

Eat well because it makes you feel better, plan and track your food because it makes you feel better and forgive yourself for being human. I know you're in a hurry, you just want to  get to goal and work for Weight Watchers and you WILL. Be patient. You've been obese and unhealthy a lot longer than you've been on this weight loss journey. It's not what you're used to and sometimes you'll stumble. But you're unstoppable. I believe in you. I'm proud of you.

I'm proud of you for eating the delicious truffles your coworker brought in because you are NOT on a diet and you CAN eat them. I'm proud of you for not finishing the entire bag and only eating 2; you practiced incredible self control and allowed yourself to have a delicious treat without overdoing it. I'm proud of you making choices that made you feel good on Thanksgiving; including eating dumplings even though they were 6 points you didn't plan on spending. I'm proud of you realizing this week that an excess of ANYTHING is not good. INCLUDING the healthy stuff...there is no reason to force yourself to drink a gallon of water if you're not actually thirsty. It's OK to take a day off of the gym. You don't have to say no to anything and everything you haven't can adjust your tracker accordingly.

I'm proud of you for working incredibly hard the last couple of weeks and I'm so proud of you hitting your 100 again but I'm more proud of you realizing you were starting to get obsessive and nixing that. You are not a phoenix rising from the ashes, you are an eagle flying above the clouds. <3

In my opinion, balance=health. A gallon of water, a million and one activity points, restricting, obsessively tracking...those things do NOT equal health.

YES, my aim is ultimately to lose weight but I'm determined to do that in a healthy way! When I get to goal I want to stay there. I don't want to damage my body by restricting nutrients it needs like carbs and fat and I don't want to yo-yo for the rest of my life. I chose Weight Watchers to learn how to live a healthy sustainable lifestyle; learn which foods fuel my body and make me feel the best, learn portion control but also occasionally indulge in something sweet or salty or eat too much of something for no reason other than it tasted really, really good. Maybe I'll skip a workout because I was tired and chose TV over the gym. It's OK. It's time to accept the fact that I'm not perfect and embrace my flaws. They're kind of beautiful after all...



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