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D58 Running Is A Spiritual Experience

I ran a 5K a week ago and it was AMAZING! I had a PR of 30:22; I took over 2 minutes off my last PR! For some people a 5k is no big deal. It's not a marathon or even a half but every time I start running I'm like "omg!! I'm doing it" I feel like I'm doing something flying! I know I'm just running and people do it everyday so to them it's no big deal and I know I'm not the fastest or the strongest but it doesn't me it's HUGE!!

I never thought I'd be a runner. The first time I tried to run I thought I was going to throw up! I was so nauseous, I couldn't understand why people did this and why people thought it was fun. The only reason I kept trying was because I wanted to be a runner. I wanted to say proudly "I'm a runner" because I idolized runners. They did something I couldn't do, something i never dreamed I'd be able to do and I was infatuated.

Then my sister started running and she looked amazing and she enjoyed it and I was jealous! So I started with the C25K and then I quit and then I started again...just like Weight Watchers!! LOL I'd get really excited and pumped up and then it wouldn't go the way I expected so I'd quit and then I'd start again.

I wanted people to look at me the way I looked at other runners. I wanted to know what it was like on the pedestal I put runners on, I wanted to look down on those mere mortals with a smile like "yes, I know how freakin awesome I am." Allowing them to stroke my ego just enough...I'd have to stay humble but I'd revel in their admiration.

So I kept trying, and trying, and trying and finally it started to click. Slowly but surely 1 pole would turn to 2 poles and 2 would turn to 3 and I'd walk less between jogging and jog faster when was jogging. The cadence of my feet hitting the ground became a chant. Right, left, right, left, right, can do it, push right through it! I give myself some amazing pep talks when I run.

"You can do this! You don't think you can but you can! You didn't think you could lose more than 30 pounds! Then you did! Then you lost 50, then 75 and then 100!! If you can lose 100 pounds you can do anything!"

Now I officially call myself a runner. Though there's a lot of room for improvement and no one has ever looked at me the way I looked at runners (at least not that I'm aware of) I don't do it for the admiration of others, I don't do it for the "oohs and ahs!" I do it because I feel incredible when I do. I feel strong, and inspired and despite being red, sweaty and short of breath I feel incredibly sexy.

I hope I never lose that feeling!

top pics are me nearing the finish and bottom is me with the
Pilgrimman Racing team that I am part of :)


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