Skip to main content

D58 Running Is A Spiritual Experience

I ran a 5K a week ago and it was AMAZING! I had a PR of 30:22; I took over 2 minutes off my last PR! For some people a 5k is no big deal. It's not a marathon or even a half but every time I start running I'm like "omg!! I'm doing it" I feel like I'm doing something impossible...like flying! I know I'm just running and people do it everyday so to them it's no big deal and I know I'm not the fastest or the strongest but it doesn't matter...to me it's HUGE!!

I never thought I'd be a runner. The first time I tried to run I thought I was going to throw up! I was so nauseous, I couldn't understand why people did this and why people thought it was fun. The only reason I kept trying was because I wanted to be a runner. I wanted to say proudly "I'm a runner" because I idolized runners. They did something I couldn't do, something i never dreamed I'd be able to do and I was infatuated.

Then my sister started running and she looked amazing and she enjoyed it and I was jealous! So I started with the C25K and then I quit and then I started again...just like Weight Watchers!! LOL I'd get really excited and pumped up and then it wouldn't go the way I expected so I'd quit and then I'd start again.

I wanted people to look at me the way I looked at other runners. I wanted to know what it was like on the pedestal I put runners on, I wanted to look down on those mere mortals with a smile like "yes, I know how freakin awesome I am." Allowing them to stroke my ego just enough...I'd have to stay humble but I'd revel in their admiration.

So I kept trying, and trying, and trying and finally it started to click. Slowly but surely 1 pole would turn to 2 poles and 2 would turn to 3 and I'd walk less between jogging and jog faster when was jogging. The cadence of my feet hitting the ground became a chant. Right, left, right, left, right, left...you can do it, push right through it! I give myself some amazing pep talks when I run.

"You can do this! You don't think you can but you can! You didn't think you could lose more than 30 pounds! Then you did! Then you lost 50, then 75 and then 100!! If you can lose 100 pounds you can do anything!"

Now I officially call myself a runner. Though there's a lot of room for improvement and no one has ever looked at me the way I looked at runners (at least not that I'm aware of) I don't do it for the admiration of others, I don't do it for the "oohs and ahs!" I do it because I feel incredible when I do. I feel strong, and inspired and despite being red, sweaty and short of breath I feel incredibly sexy.

I hope I never lose that feeling!

-t
top pics are me nearing the finish and bottom is me with the
Pilgrimman Racing team that I am part of :)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I Fell In Love Today

I fell in love today. It was the craziest feeling and one of the most amazing moments in my 29 years of life. I will never forget the day I stood in the Target dressing room looking at her. Admiring her. Seeing her strength and beauty despite her flaws...maybe even because of them. She was stunning. Absolutely radiant and proud. She was beautiful outside but not because she had a toned stomach, tanned flawless skin and a thigh gap; she was a different kind of beautiful. She was genuinely beautiful. I stood there staring at her and admiring her and I felt myself smiling; caught off guard by how I was feeling! Almost a little ashamed that she caught my admiring eye. But she didn't reject my admiration; instead she smiled back at me and before I knew it I was crying.

Time was suspended as I stood there weeping softly, hot tears rolling down my cheeks but I didn't feel embarrassed in her presence. I was overcome with emotion but shame was not one. With her standing there I I felt s…

Falling In Love Again

At Weight Watchers this week we were talking about being kind to yourself. I was asked when it was I decided to stop beating beating myself up and I started to cry the moment I said “it all started with a bikini”.
You can read that story here if you want to be caught up. 
I instantly felt my face flush as I realized I wasn’t going to be able to keep talking without tears rolling down my cheeks and I paused for a moment to look around the room. Was what I was about to do career suicide? What would my boss think if she walked into the meeting room and witnessed the leader having an emotional breakdown? 
My job as a leader is to facilitate a conversation among members, to create an environment where each and every person who walks through the door feels safe and supported and to ensure that each week members leave feeling like they got a figurative hug with a side of science.
It’s great to be warm and fuzzy and I love that Weight Watchers has moved past the days of a leader lecturing for 45 …

Pound Fitness

Pound Fitness:
"Instead of listening to music, you become the music in this exhilarating full-body workout that combines cardio, conditioning and strength training with yoga and pilates-inspired movements. Using Ripstix, lightly weighted drumsticks engineered specifically for exercising POUND transforms drumming into an incedibly effective way of working out." I have spent an incredible amount of time feeling lonely and excluded. My weight ostracized me. I felt isolated and alone then I joined WW and I found people who understood me; now I work for WW and I have found a family. Because of WW I have a newfound confidence. I am brave enough to try new things and get wayyyy out of my comfort zone cause I know no matter what, I’ve got people who are going to catch me if I fall when I take a leap of faith. 
Pound Fitness is a physical manifestation of what WW is to me. It is connection, literally and figuratively. When I slam my Ripstix against the floor I’m getting low enough in my…