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Showing posts from January, 2016

Give Yourself A Break!!

After cancelling dinner on my friend the other day and feeling so sad about it she sent me a text that made me laugh out loud. She is incredibly kind, compassionate, honest and a GREAT friend! She told me not to worry about cancelling and assured me that she understands that I have a lot going on right now. She told me I can't be perfect all the time and sometimes I have to give myself a break. If I have to cry, cry! If I need to sleep, sleep! If I have to be a bitch, BE A BITCH!

I love her for that advice. It made me feel so much better. I needed permission from someone I love to be imperfect. I always tell people that it's OK to be human. You're not going to be perfect everyday and some days you just can't keep it together.

Sometimes you're going to throw a temper tantrum, act irrationally, over eat...it's OK. The actions of your past do not define you! Just because yesterday I was a cranky mean lady and took it out on my innocent wife doesn't mean I am a t…

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

Last night I was getting ready for some me-time; a nice long soak in the bathtub during a snowstorm (I live on the East Coast) after a long day of work...perfect!

As I was disrobing I was watching myself in the mirror. I know that sounds insane but lately I've been having a hard time adjusting to this new-me. I find myself staring in the mirror a lot these days studying my new features...analyzing my new face; clearer skin, an actual jaw line, no double chin.Tracing the hollows of my collar bones, observing the length of my neck. Touching my shoulders and flexing my biceps trying to determine if I'm creating or losing definition.

My wife interrupted my mirror session by going "why are you always staring at yourself!?" I guess I didn't realize how much I was doing it until she asked me why I was.

I don't know if this is normal, or healthy but I can't help it! I almost wish I was completely obsessed with myself and admiring the changes, tooting my own horn goi…

3rd Mystery Weigh In

Well it's Wednesday which means Weight Watcher night. My favorite night of the week!

Weighed in tonight. Feeling hormonal, ravenous and puffy which sucks. I felt super thin earlier this week and woke up this morning feeling like a bloated tick. BLECH.

But that's OK because I'll take it off again, if I was up...not entirely sure...cause I'm still not weighing in...well, I am but I'm not looking at the number and I don't have access to my own Success Record so I will have a history of weigh in's for the month of January...I just won't know what January looks like until 2/3.

It's so weird. Surprisingly I'm not freaking out as much as I thought I was going to. I thought that a month without the scale was going to be a month of panicking and obsessing and freaking out about being in the dark but I'm actually handling it well.

Last week I felt like I was down and it would've been a nice pat on the back to hear that I actually was but I don't n…

Am I Done...?

I have no idea how much I weigh right now. I haven't seen the number on the scale since the end of December...I'm checking the "month off the scale" box off my 30 before 30 list.

Someday's it's GREAT! Someday's I feel awesome, powerful, capable, in control and like I NEVER want to know how much I weigh! The freedom of not knowing the number is unexplainable! Every week I know that no matter what I'm not going to be disappointed by the number on the scale because I am not going to see the number on the scale. I might be up 8 pounds but it doesn't matter because I am blissfully ignorant and will have NO idea!!

Until February 3rd when I officially start weighing in again and peek back at my month. I'm not sure if I'll be psyched, mortified or ambivalent. The problem with blissful ignorance is I have no accountability right now. I could be out of control. I could be going up, up, up and doing a lot of damage...not permanent damage, but damage no…

Wednesday 1/6-First Mystery Weigh In

Alright folks. Weighed in last night, Wednesday 1/6/16 and at this moment I have no idea whether I was up or down. I told the receptionist who weighed me in that I didn't want to know, good or bad! I explained to her that my sister and I were swapping books...I told her way to much. I'm talkative enough but when I get nervous I get chatty and I just kept going. She's not even a regular receptionist!! She was filling in so she's probably like "omg girl...just shut up!" She was SO nice though, totally patient and she didn't tell me how much I weighed and I didn't peek as she wrote it in my Success Record.

That was SO hard, btw!! I've asked the receptionist not to tell me on more than one occasion but I can usually peek as they write down the number. I've become an expert at reading the numbers upside down and then quickly calculating the total. But not last night!! Nope, last night I got on the scale and closed my eyes.

Don't judge me.

I then b…

The 30 Day No-Scale-Challenge!

So on my 30 by 30 list I declared that I wanted to go a month without the scale...

Any idea how scary that is!?!? I kept saying "it's time" and then I'd get to my meeting to weigh in and I just HAD to know. Either I had a great week and I wanted the reward of a good weigh in or I had a bad week and I needed to know how bad the damage was...or..."I'm going to start next week but I need to know my starting weight". There was always an excuse, a reason I just HAD to weigh in...but truthfully the reason is I place way too much emphasis on the scale and I care way too much about the stupid number!!

Which is exactly the reason I need to take a month off weighing in!!

My sister has moved back from Louisiana and now lives about 30 minutes from me which is SO awesome because--well SHE'S awesome--but specifically related to WW it's awesome because now we go to the same meeting! And we work out together and it's just great to have her around. At the en…