Any idea how scary that is!?!? I kept saying "it's time" and then I'd get to my meeting to weigh in and I just HAD to know. Either I had a great week and I wanted the reward of a good weigh in or I had a bad week and I needed to know how bad the damage was...or..."I'm going to start next week but I need to know my starting weight". There was always an excuse, a reason I just HAD to weigh in...but truthfully the reason is I place way too much emphasis on the scale and I care way too much about the stupid number!!
Which is exactly the reason I need to take a month off weighing in!!
My sister has moved back from Louisiana and now lives about 30 minutes from me which is SO awesome because--well SHE'S awesome--but specifically related to WW it's awesome because now we go to the same meeting! And we work out together and it's just great to have her around. At the end of December she told me she wanted to give me her Success Record (at Weight Watchers that's where we have our weekly weigh-ins tracked) for a month. She told me she felt like knowing her weight was throwing her off. If she had a good weigh in, she would get cocky and if she had a bad week she would get upset and either way she might overeat or indulge in things to celebrate or console herself.
As soon as she asked me if I would take her Success Record I said "YES! But you have to take mine!!" I told her that one of my goals for my 29th year in life was to take a break from the scale and her asking me to take her Success Record gave me the perfect opportunity to give her mine...so last night we switched books and I have NO idea how much I weigh right now.
Which is the first time in...oh my goodness...I don't even know! Any other day you ask me how much I weigh I can tell you exactly...right now I could ballpark based on last weeks weight but I'm not sure. Which feels both paralyzing and freeing.
Wonder if I was up last night? Wonder if I was down? It doesn't really matter to be totally honest. I tracked my entire week and I know what I would do again and I know the areas I need to improve. What happened on the scale wouldn't change that. But it's still weird not knowing and measuring my progress and success by how I feel.
But it's SO important that I get in touch with how I feel. That's what's going to help me in the long run. When I am a lifetime member I will continue to weigh in but my focus will be maintenance then; I won't be rewarded and motivated by a loss...I'll need to find different rewards and motivation which I'm trying to do since I'm inching closer and closer to goal.
Furthermore, I'm still working on breaking the habit of food as a reward or comfort. I've been in the habit of tracking everyday, even on weigh-in-Wednesday but occasionally I slip and Wednesday night becomes free because I had a GREAT weigh in or I'm bummed because I worked really hard and the scale didn't show it. It's definitely better these days than it used to be, and it'll always be a work in progress but practice makes perfect and having a month off the scale is really going to challenge me; but in a good way!
I'm excited to see what happens in February! I hope to report that I feel stronger than ever, motivated, determined and more in touch with my own body and the way I feel. I hope to report that the scale has lost its hold on me!! Or at least loosened its grip a little ;-)
Anyone else want to join me on this little adventure? If you can't commit to a month without the scale, can you try a week? It's so important to realize that we are more than a number!!