It made me feel like crap to eat crap but I did it because I thought I deserved to feel like crap. I ate both to soothe and punish myself.
I thought if everyone around me was saying I was
I didn't have the confidence, the desire or the drive to fight the majority so I gave in and I accepted that this was my fate. I deserved to feel terrible both physically and mentally all the time so I fed that.
With massive amounts of crap. It wasn't just the quality of the food that was the problem, it was also the quantity.
I joined WW because deep down I heard myself saying "WHY? Why do you 'deserve this'? What did you do that is so terrible that you always need to feel like crap?" and I didn't have an answer. I didn't want to continue to be morbidly obese and I didn't want to have surgery to correct my weight because I knew it wouldn't work for me. I started WW so that I could correct my weight without surgery and I wanted to correct my weight because I thought maybe, just maybe I deserved to feel GOOD.
Turns out, I was right. It isn't easy to be kind to myself because for many, many years I wasn't. It's a really hard habit to break and it's not going to fixed in 21 days or however long they say it takes to break a habit. Learning to hate myself took me roughly 23 years; learning to love myself won't take that long. I won't let it!
Because I deserve to feel good no matter what anyone else has to say about it! I feel like such a rebel practicing radical self love and self forgiveness and taking the time to pay attention to quality and quantity of my food and I like feeling like a rebel. For so long I did what I thought I "should do" and now I'm done.
I have too many reason's WHY I want to live a healthier lifestyle and none of them are because someone else said I should. This is all about ME.