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D7 Stop Existing, Start Living!

I can't take credit Stop Existing, Start Living! I stole it from a meme I saw on Connect (which is WW only social media, like Facebook or Instagram but only for WW members)

I was like THIS!! THIS IS MY DAY 7!!

People often say that WW saved their lives and I think that's beautiful and special and it speaks to them but WW did not save my life. Before WW there wasn't much of a life to save. Sure I had some really good things in my life, like my wife and my dogs and I loved them but I had absolutely NO vision. I had no self confidence and I felt like nothing would ever change. I was sure we would be married, living with my parents and our dogs until the day my parents died at which point we'd probably be homeless. That is if there was still a "we" by then. If you've ever been married and lived at home at the same time, you know the stress is real.

I wanted to change it, I just didn't know how. My track record wasn't great. I tried a few schools when I graduated high school; college, then hair school, back to college. Wasted a LOT of money when I dropped out 3 times. Then I signed up for massage and thought "this is it!! My life is about to change!! I found my passion!!" and I wasn't wrong BUT I didn't start working as a massage therapist for quite a few months after I graduated and there were times that I seriously doubted how successful I would be. Again, I looked to my past to dictate my future and I was scared.

(There will be another blog about WW and massage in this 31 days of Why blog series I'm doing, so for now I'm going to gloss over that. This blog is about living a full life and part of that full life is massage but there's more to my life than just that.)

I lived day-to-day and hand-to-mouth. Financially things weren't great but we did OK. We were living on our own when I joined WW but I was sure we wouldn't be soon. I was sure we'd have to move back in with my parents. Fear of repeating past mistakes ruled me and paralyzed me until I joined WW for the millionth time.

It was almost 7 years ago that I joined WW and I was a repeat offender but this time I promised myself it would be different. It was the same promise I made myself all the other times I had joined...isn't it ironic that I kept making the same promise to be different.

This time it was though because I knew why I was joining in the first place. I didn't know that almost 7 years in the future I'd be writing a blog proclaiming that WW gave me life, I just knew that it would be different this time.

Shedding the weight has helped me gain so much confidence. I thought I would be obese forever. I thought I was big boned and had bad genetics so therefore my fate was sealed. But I decided to try anyway and started learning that I wasn't living as a morbidly obese person all those years, I was simply existing. I wasn't passionate about much, I didn't feel fulfilled, I didn't dream! When I started losing weight and doing something I thought was impossible I started taking more and more risks. I was succeeding at something I never thought I would succeed at so I felt like if I could lose weight I could try walking. I could try a brighter shade of lipstick. I could try a fun hairstyle. I figured I wasn't committing to anything permanent, I was just trying. The more I tried the more I started to live.

I started talking to people unafraid of whether or not they'd like me. I started getting more involved and really coming out of my shell. The more I ventured out of my bubble, the more life I started to experience and the more I realized how much there is to do out in that great big world!!

It's not always fun to take a risk but it's always worth it! When I was existing I worked dead end jobs I didn't like that I wouldn't stay at long, dreamed about the life I could have "someday" then felt depressed when I realized it was only a dream and felt sad and unfulfilled. Now I have 2 careers with unlimited growth where I don't feel trapped! We bought our own house and we're moving from talking about a family into the planning stages and I feel hopeful and excited about what's waiting on the horizon.

It all started when I walked through the doors of my WW meeting and started proving to myself what I was capable of. Now I continue to do this because I know what it feels like to truly live and I never want to exist again.



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