If I had never allowed myself to dabble in the crazy restriction I wouldn't have ruined my metabolism and I'd be able to reclaim goal.
The tears I cried were cathartic and cleansing and I released so much of the shame I felt for dieting, gaining, staying away from WW where I KNEW I needed to be. I cried because I realized this might be as good as it gets and it's disappointing but it's such a relief. I cried because I don't have to start restricting again and I cried because I might not take this 25 pounds back off. I cried because I felt like I'm not good enough and I cried because I realized I'm perfect exactly as I am. after a mostly decent week but yesterday and today were very indulgent and I was traveling and I’m certain the sugar and sodium combined with the altitude affected my fluid retention. I was up 3 pounds and I cried like a baby.